Like attending La Scala in Milan
North brings expectations from this land,
Litany of shalt-nots and not-to-dos,
Guidelines levied on both me and you.
We’ll have no prides of screaming brats here
Or past eleven out spotlighting deer.
Nay, no sirens rending the dark with fright,
Coyotes sing a capella at night.
And this we find a most calming delight.
There are no schedules up here in effect,
Ignore Ma Nature and it will be heck.
No curs on cute leashes, no baggies for poop
Just leave at home your designer poopie scoops.
Neither whining nor whinging allowed,
Go with the flow, enjoy ambient sound.
Our mornings are as silent as being dead
Awake to bird wings burring overhead.
We have no cell phones blaring overtures
Or pesky calls from the Census Bureau.
All told couples tend to build sentiment
For minimum two-month long encampments
Where we welcome those folks with sunny hearts
Come north for joyous sport and so forth.
If you don’t find all this to your liking,
Put your truck in gear and keep on driving.