I heard on NPR some talk
About some bites at the apple
As metrics of success
Some donkey braying ya gotta
Have merch or get left in the lurch,
Off-ramping the manhood issues,
Deep-diving soft perplexities,
Losing broke-dick silver bullets
To evade malocchio,
For novel flavors and vectors,
Using foolscap English, pidgin yak,
Favored among shiny shoes,
All this hanging from their asses
Like invasive dingleberries.
Think of oikofugic argot,
The lost with no clue they’re lost,
All donkeys braying they gotta
Have merch or it’s into the lurch.