My dog enjoys his leaks on poles
Be they wood or iron or stone.
He micturates on all in his path
Lets me keep score, he knows no math.

My dog has these dervish ways
For when he needs to defecate
He spins and spins in leaves and grass
Till poop pops out his big old ass,
And then he scrapes to cover it up,
And runs away to skip and jump.

Rain or shine, excited or bored,
He’s on the wrong side of the door,
And if in he wants out, or out wants in
With such malice it should be a sin.
You see I finally
Figured making me bend
To his will is his only end.